1. |
Wake
04:24
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We're all guilty of
Holding on to
To feelings we need to let go.
We all fear-
We won't realize we are not alone.
I still taste your laugh in my lungs
This distance is enough to ruin anyone.
You aren't how I remember you,
I can't stand anymore
Friends moving away
And coming back without returning.
I can't remember
I can't remember the last good time we had together.
We're all guilty of
Holding on to
To feelings we need to let go.
We all fear-
We won't realize we are not alone.
You were the warmth of this town,
Now the whole place is going to hell.
Sunset smile sets,
Doubt fills your mouth,
Your body's filled with regret.
I hope you hear me screaming
So you can stay up with me.
I'll rip my voice apart to keep away another lonely night.
I can't stomach the pain or the doubt in my brain.
All the things I've seen and can't reverse
All the things that stay even in past tense.
We're all guilty of
Holding on to
Feelings we
Need to let go.
We all fear-
We won't realize
We are not alone.
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2. |
Saltwater
04:09
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It was the winter you began to blame yourself.
“I tried. I swear, I tried.”
We did not know what to do,
You swore you could have stopped your own heart.
And the cold on the beach bit at my hands when you told me,
“I think drowning is more peaceful than swimming.”
I saw your scared stare, the cold in your voice tore out my throat, you breathed out,
You said that drowning, drowning is more peaceful than swimming.
Your voice broke
Against the rocks
My heart caved in,
It shook the apartment.
We won't drown ourselves in a sea of change.
You watched the rain turn to snow from your bedroom window
And it flew instead of fell.
You begged yourself to do the same.
You just wanted things to stay.
And I offered you another cup of coffee in the wake of the kitchen,
I just wanted you to feel at home instead of adrift here.
You finally spoke up and said that “I’m fine, I’m fine. Really, I’m fine.
My eyes are just too heavy lately,
the same as every single fucking day."
Saltwater waves beat down the door,
You were collapsed on the floor.
We can still survive.
We won't drown ourselves.
We won't drown ourselves.
We won't drown ourselves.
Your voice broke
Against the rocks
My heart caved in,
It shook the apartment
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3. |
||||
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Staring at the ceiling of my car,
I got the news today.
It's really awkward crying in public
I'm aware that I've been avoiding using past tense
We would catch up once a year,
maybe less.
We were supposed to get a house together,
Miles won't change that tattoo
that says “friends forever.”
I'll wait for you to return my calls,
You swerved your car into the tree,
They say it must’ve been on purpose.
Distance makes me nervous,
Words in past tense make me anxious.
“this will pass” isn't helping.
“this will pass” isn't helping
In that house that we looked at,
You told me,
“This is growing up.
We don’t feel like we used to,
We don’t feel as much as we want to.”
I guess connections go out like lights we forgot to shelter,
life comes in,
a cold breeze through a window we didn’t close in the storm.
Depression sweeps in,
it’s blowing us out,
it’s making us forget who we are, who we were.
Depression sweeps in,
it’s blowing us out,
it’s making us forget who we are.
I wish I could have grabbed you by the neck,
taken you out of the snow and the rain,
to make sure you didn’t get washed away,
but life doesn’t work that way.
If I had the chance to see you again
The words "I miss you" would break
Would stutter and sputter, stumble and mumble,
They'd wrap themselves tight around my throat
They wouldn't say what I want them to say
They'd be gone as I said them, they'd remind me of you, they wouldn't stay
they wouldn't stay
they'd remind me of you, they wouldn't stay
How many long nights did we spend not being lonely.
Your absence is crushing my chest, there's a weight that never left.
You left a mark that isn't going away,
You're under my skin,
This is taking
You're a part of me,
You're apart from me,
This is taking a part of me
"Friends forever" has never made me anymore lonely
My phone is full of long distance calls to Jacksonville
Listening to the answering machine.
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